Post Iboga. December 22, 2019. I am sitting at the airport in Liberia, Costa Rica. I have just spent 10 days in this beautiful country. I am a different person than I was when I got here. I feel more present. More at ease with the flow of things. A little less anxiety-prone. And I've …
Category: Healing
Three Steps to Surviving & Thriving When Sh** Hits The Fan
My head is clear for the first time in months. It's been a journey since the last time I wrote. I got a restraining order. I ran a marathon. I moved out of my house and drove across the country. I visited Sedona... a place of dreams and miracles, to which a piece of …
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The things I really want to say about “safety”
What is the deal with "safety"? Every part of my safety feels compromised, lately. Real or not, I keep finding myself in situations that seem "unsafe". Unsafe. Unsafe. I keep feeling it. Every day. It's at the heart of the work I'm doing right now, with my eating disorder. A set of behaviors that gets …
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Trying to stay safe instead of stepping forward to meet life
Hi friends. It's time for another post. I'm writing from California. Life has taken me all over the place the past two months. It's a blessing and a challenge. The food void has deepened its expression in my life, in this time that I've been traveling. I feel trapped but I also know I'm going …
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Every day is full of wins & losses
Hi friends, Let me paint you a picture of what it looks like to be actively fighting to grow out of an addiction. No day is boring or simple. Every day is both a joy and a battle. Most days have wins. Most have losses. Sometimes I write them down! Sometimes I pay attention enough …
Food Addiction – The beginning of a long conversation
Hi friends... I don't know how to approach writing this post, and have been anxious for a while even thinking about it. I think I even showed up here and tried a few times, only to get frustrated and quit. But a part of me wants to show up, to find a way to do …
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A cure for loneliness
Last day in California, sadly... flying to Portland with Aidan in a few hours. I am feeling grateful for the time with family this week. It took me a few days to open up, but it was a beautiful moment when I did. I think we all needed to do the check-in. I forget how …
When life gets overwhelming
Sometimes it feels like life is moving very fast. When I focus on that, I get dizzy. The truth is that I am capable of moving with the flow of life and not being overwhelmed. This means embracing life as it is and accepting all that comes... it means taking real action without hesitating or …
Not starting with “Sorry”
My mom and I are both cleaning out our closets right now. She calls me to tell me that she got my letter and it made her weepy. That she's going through all the papers in her house and has a hundred pounds of old bills to get rid of; how much lighter it feels, …
The hurt only asks for love
Hello, end of another day. A beautiful day. A full day. Sweetness in my heart. Exploring my feelings, like they are a person. I find myself in the feeling, a small child, who wants to play. Even when the feeling hurts; so often we run away from the hurt, but underneath the hurt there is …
Expressions from this side of the here & now 