The past few days I've had a shift in awareness of my current life circumstance. I have really struggled internally on-and-off with my current line of work in tech, feeling that it isn't perfectly aligned with my passions and therefore is somehow wrong or bad, or that I'm living a lie by working this career …
Category: little life stories
How To Consciously Fall In Love With Where You Are
Ah, love... that ultimate bliss experience, the moments where we are experiencing the truth of our being, which is a beautiful Oneness. Oneness (Unity) is everywhere at all times. No matter your circumstance, there is always a field of bliss that is accessible to you through your consciousness, through the state of your awareness and …
Continue reading How To Consciously Fall In Love With Where You Are
Three Steps to Surviving & Thriving When Sh** Hits The Fan
My head is clear for the first time in months. It's been a journey since the last time I wrote. I got a restraining order. I ran a marathon. I moved out of my house and drove across the country. I visited Sedona... a place of dreams and miracles, to which a piece of …
Continue reading Three Steps to Surviving & Thriving When Sh** Hits The Fan
Choosing thoughts wisely
I started my run this morning at 5:15 AM. Waking up early after a late night binge eating session - my stomach still feels full, I feel a little nauseous. But here I am... here I am. The thoughts are anxious, I notice. I want to just notice them, rather than be swept away. This …
A cure for loneliness
Last day in California, sadly... flying to Portland with Aidan in a few hours. I am feeling grateful for the time with family this week. It took me a few days to open up, but it was a beautiful moment when I did. I think we all needed to do the check-in. I forget how …
Checking in
I hired a coach a few weeks ago -- a first for me. We are working on my relationship with food, which is basically a proxy for my relationship with life and myself. For whatever reason, this has been a focal point of my life, for a long time. A recurring "problem" of my life. …
Vacation eyes ‘Work’ warily and dreams of Art
I am in California at my dad's house, which is in the middle of a remodel process. I came here for a night after spending a week with my mom and brothers in Mendocino. This is a week of 'vacation'. It's the first significant holiday I've taken from work in the last year. When I …
Continue reading Vacation eyes ‘Work’ warily and dreams of Art
Not starting with “Sorry”
My mom and I are both cleaning out our closets right now. She calls me to tell me that she got my letter and it made her weepy. That she's going through all the papers in her house and has a hundred pounds of old bills to get rid of; how much lighter it feels, …
We have to say goodbye, to make room for something new
I feel a great movement in my life. I feel it in my heart right now, like a weight, the heaviness that is all of this life swirling around me, ever-changing, outside the grasp of my fingers; no matter how tightly they close, I am left with air, and myself. We have to say good-bye, …
Continue reading We have to say goodbye, to make room for something new
Reflections on a day: “right timing”
It's a lovely warm night... I have been so looking forward to the warm nights. They make me want to be a vampire. It is so blissful to be driving, in the nighttime. So quiet. Such a blank canvas. Part of me drifts, is at peace. I've been wanting to get a little high, more …
Expressions from this side of the here & now 