Coming back to love

A poem from inside the eternal cave.


 

From the darkness. In there it’s so easy to forget the light.

From here, I can see.

I sing back to myself, don’t cry..

You don’t need to cling, don’t need to hide..

the light is,

always has been

right here, inside!

 


 

Will I ever get better?

Will it ever be alright?

Will I ever not need help?

Will I always be so lost inside?

Groping around, feeling for a handhold

this wall is my anchor. dark and damp and… cold.

How did I get here? Why did I crawl into this cave?

I wanted to hide.

Now I can’t find my way outside!

Oh, how I crave the light.

Bits of it bouncing off rocks, pebbles, puddles,

small sparkles,

here and there.

Even in this pitch black… Am I dreaming?

When I find my way out, will they recognize me?

Will I recognize them?

Will it be better?

Will I ever,

ever be better?

 


 

Someone sang me a lullaby

the same one who showed me how to get inside this cave.

I have to say,

I love her dearly.

 


 

I’ll carry the weight.

We’re in this together.

Some of us is in here. Some of us is out there.

Some of us is ahead, shining a light backwards, believing in us.

Did you ever believe in yourself, truly?

Sure as the stars in the night sky?

I hear they can’t see the stars from the cities in India.

I hope it’s a rumor. Just a speck of light bouncing around in a cave.

The only light you can trust in here is your own,

and the light that makes your own light grow.

Pay attention to that little spark,

the one that dwells inside your heart.

She gets put out so easily,

but if you tend her carefully…

she’ll blow you away.

soon enough…

I’ve been blown away.

Shook. Gone. Rattled.

Maybe I’m one of those sparks of light, bouncing around in a dark cave, playing games in someone else’s brain. Another hallucination.

Remember: tend to the light.

There is never tomorrow, only tonight.

Maybe that’s just an old way of thinking.

Am I still dreaming?


 

If it’s all just a dream,

sometimes I remember to dream

of my favorite things.

It’s okay to dream your favorite dream.

I’m giving myself permission to dream my favorite dreams,

and keep dreaming.

Tomorrow…

I hope we’ll catch each other’s eyes and see the spark of the new world.

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