Ah, love… that ultimate bliss experience, the moments where we are experiencing the truth of our being, which is a beautiful Oneness.
Oneness (Unity) is everywhere at all times. No matter your circumstance, there is always a field of bliss that is accessible to you through your consciousness, through the state of your awareness and your choice of orientation to the moment you are in. In Kundalini Yoga we say that we have a “bliss body”, as one of the 10 layers of our consciousness.
So how do we access this supposedly ever-present field of bliss? What about moments that are just plain hard, when things are not going our way?
Well, it’s probably not what you want to hear, but the first step is acceptance. We start by accepting the moment exactly as it is, allowing our resistance to melt away.
Let me tell you my personal story about this. I’ve been home with family, and that has been triggering and challenging for me in a number of ways! But I have had some personal breakthroughs in the last couple days, and I am now having an easier time relaxing and am in a place of deep sweetness and enjoyment with my family.
Truly, the most helpful thing to me has been consciously accepting what’s here, and stopping my attempts to push my preferences on my situation. Instead, on some level, I am practicing surrendering. I am starting to lean into whatever is being asked of me instead of protecting myself from it, as an exercise in embracing what’s here now.
As a result, suddenly there is flow where before there was conflict. Suddenly I am co-creating beautiful food creations with my brother, where before we were butting heads in power struggle. Suddenly, inside myself, I am accessing authentic joy and relaxation when before I was in a state of fight and conflict and fear.
Real magic: I am having the actual experience of falling more in love with my family and life at home with them in quarantine!
What if we all could be falling in love with exactly where we are with right now? Wouldn’t that soften and make beautiful any challenge we are experiencing?
Falling in love isn’t something that can be forced. It is a blessing and an act of grace.
That said, we can definitely set up the favorable conditions for love to flow through our lives.
How To Fall In Love With Where You Are
Completely accept your circumstances.
Let go of trying to push your preferences on life, in this situation, and fully accept it for what it is.
This involves letting go of your resistance, your ideas about what is wrong, your judgments and projections onto other people.
While this can be challenging, it is ultimately a choice, and a simple one. Lean into where you are and accept it.
“When you struggle against this moment, you are actually struggling against the entire Universe.” – Deepak Chopra
Respond positively to what is being asked of you.
If a family member or roommate asks you for a favor, enthusiastically oblige. It is an invitation from life to connect with what’s here — accept the invitation. The more enthusiasm, the better. Be authentic about it. This is the kind of energy that attracts creativity and inspiration.
Even if people don’t ask directly, look to read the situation around you to see if anything is being asked implicitly. See what others are trying to do, and care to help them if there’s a way you can help. Notice if a space seems tired and cluttered to you, and give your time and energy to help freshen it up.
We don’t lose ourselves by helping others – in fact, we get opportunities to express ourselves in service, which is both fun to experience and fulfilling to the soul.
This is strikingly different than doing anything out of obligation – no obligation required! In fact, dump that approach and try on complete willingness.
Be truthful and forgive.
All of us are being challenged in one way or another right now. We are going to get triggered and we are going to need to work through those moments with those around us.
It’s really easy to lash out at others when we are upset, taking a self-protective stance – but it is most powerful and healing to be truthful about our experience and share the reality we are in with those around us.
This looks like saying “I’m really upset right now” or “I’m having a lot of emotion.”
This also looks like asking for support when you need it – the corollary to enthusiastically helping those around you.
That said, sometimes we do act out our feelings instead of speaking to them and owning them. Now is a time to embrace “progress not perfection” and offer forgiveness and understanding to yourself and those around you for these lapses.
Be willing to look underneath the outburst and see the human who is there doing their best during a challenging time. It is an act of kindness that builds true connection, to look past the unconscious act of a person in pain, and be willing to forgive them.
Leaning into our humanness, into the human beauty of those around us… being willing to say “yes” inside challenging moments, to show up with a willing heart and kindness… it speaks such volumes, and coaxes love and magic to come greet us in the most unexpected of moments. Sometimes the most challenging times offer us the greatest opportunity to experience that kind of magic.
So give it a try. Radically accept what’s here. Show up with a helpful and honest spirit. Lean into the moments you are resisting, and see how life embraces you in return. See how the people who are annoying you become beautiful to you. See how the space that is suffocating you becomes fresh and free, a temple for your creative spirit to flow and dance.