This one is dark but honest. It doesn't represent all of where I'm at, but I'm giving this experience a voice because it has something to say that feels real to me. I'm nervous that this will cause people I love to worry about me. But I don't think that's a good reason to be …
Category: Emotions
The things I really want to say about “safety”
What is the deal with "safety"? Every part of my safety feels compromised, lately. Real or not, I keep finding myself in situations that seem "unsafe". Unsafe. Unsafe. I keep feeling it. Every day. It's at the heart of the work I'm doing right now, with my eating disorder. A set of behaviors that gets …
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A cure for loneliness
Last day in California, sadly... flying to Portland with Aidan in a few hours. I am feeling grateful for the time with family this week. It took me a few days to open up, but it was a beautiful moment when I did. I think we all needed to do the check-in. I forget how …
The hurt only asks for love
Hello, end of another day. A beautiful day. A full day. Sweetness in my heart. Exploring my feelings, like they are a person. I find myself in the feeling, a small child, who wants to play. Even when the feeling hurts; so often we run away from the hurt, but underneath the hurt there is …
We have to say goodbye, to make room for something new
I feel a great movement in my life. I feel it in my heart right now, like a weight, the heaviness that is all of this life swirling around me, ever-changing, outside the grasp of my fingers; no matter how tightly they close, I am left with air, and myself. We have to say good-bye, …
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Happiness is a path
Happiness: at least a strong hint about who you really are There's no reason to say 'No' to happiness when it comes. How many times have I shortchanged myself, held myself back from enjoying the moment in front of me, because I thought I had somewhere else to be, was worried about being late, was …
Make Friends with Fear
Fear is an opportunity to change your mind. At the first moment you feel fear, envisioning an upcoming challenge, or something that would be out of your comfort zone, for instance... your mind wants to turn and look at the possibilities for what could go wrong. In that moment, you have another option, and it …
A rambling story about an IUD, feelings, womanhood, fertility, fear, and vulnerability
*** content warning: explicit description of female anatomy, allusions to sexuality, and honest emotional expression included in this piece *** This is a story of something small that happened, something truly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, something that could have just fallen into my past to be forgotten by all but me… but …
Expressions from this side of the here & now 