Last day in California, sadly... flying to Portland with Aidan in a few hours. I am feeling grateful for the time with family this week. It took me a few days to open up, but it was a beautiful moment when I did. I think we all needed to do the check-in. I forget how …
Category: Emotional & Relational Life
Checking in
I hired a coach a few weeks ago -- a first for me. We are working on my relationship with food, which is basically a proxy for my relationship with life and myself. For whatever reason, this has been a focal point of my life, for a long time. A recurring "problem" of my life. …
Vacation eyes ‘Work’ warily and dreams of Art
I am in California at my dad's house, which is in the middle of a remodel process. I came here for a night after spending a week with my mom and brothers in Mendocino. This is a week of 'vacation'. It's the first significant holiday I've taken from work in the last year. When I …
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Not starting with “Sorry”
My mom and I are both cleaning out our closets right now. She calls me to tell me that she got my letter and it made her weepy. That she's going through all the papers in her house and has a hundred pounds of old bills to get rid of; how much lighter it feels, …
The hurt only asks for love
Hello, end of another day. A beautiful day. A full day. Sweetness in my heart. Exploring my feelings, like they are a person. I find myself in the feeling, a small child, who wants to play. Even when the feeling hurts; so often we run away from the hurt, but underneath the hurt there is …
We have to say goodbye, to make room for something new
I feel a great movement in my life. I feel it in my heart right now, like a weight, the heaviness that is all of this life swirling around me, ever-changing, outside the grasp of my fingers; no matter how tightly they close, I am left with air, and myself. We have to say good-bye, …
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Reflections on a day: “right timing”
It's a lovely warm night... I have been so looking forward to the warm nights. They make me want to be a vampire. It is so blissful to be driving, in the nighttime. So quiet. Such a blank canvas. Part of me drifts, is at peace. I've been wanting to get a little high, more …
Happiness is a path
Happiness: at least a strong hint about who you really are There's no reason to say 'No' to happiness when it comes. How many times have I shortchanged myself, held myself back from enjoying the moment in front of me, because I thought I had somewhere else to be, was worried about being late, was …
Marie Kondo’ing my life, pt. 1
This week the name "Marie Kondo" kept popping up in my world. I'm behind the ball on this one, because I don't keep up with most pop culture things. I guess she has a TV show. I haven't seen it, but for some reason I saw her name, and it stood out to me. So …
Patience… a challenge, but probably worth it
I went for a run tonight. It was 5:30 rush hour in downtown Durham. I ran, weaving up and down streets. No headphones. Lots of cars. My more relaxed moments were on the side streets. I love the relative quiet closing in around me, the world fading out. It's harder to find that feeling at …
Continue reading Patience… a challenge, but probably worth it
Expressions from this side of the here & now 