I’m glad Fall is here. The air is crisp and fresh. Trees are turning. Things seem to be… quieting down. Life itself is tugging at me, beckoning me outside, reminding me to take longer looks around, to slow down, to drop out of the swirling, colorful, anxious catastrophe that is the mind and body in …
Continue reading I wish we could touch each other more easily
I haven’t identified as a religious person for a long time. I was brought up with loose ties to some non-strict form of Christianity, “believing in” without really understanding what I thought of “God”. In late elementary or middle school, my mom’s new partner Paul joined the family and brought with him more religious structure …
Continue reading Opening up to “religion”: a journey from perfectionism to vulnerability
*** content warning: explicit description of female anatomy, allusions to sexuality, and honest emotional expression included in this piece *** This is a story of something small that happened, something truly insignificant in the grand scheme of things, something that could have just fallen into my past to be forgotten by all but me… but …
February 24, 2018 It's been a little over two weeks now since I finished my last Ayahuasca ceremony at Hummingbird Retreat. As time goes by, I am still choosing to consciously connect with the experience, trying to digest it and use it to make sense of and move forward correctly with my life... and at …
Continue reading Integration & Afterthoughts 2: Repression, Remembering, Rebalancing
February 18, 2018. West Point @ Eno River Today is the first day I have taken time to be in nature since coming home. This is one of the recommended integration activities post-Ayahuasca. Down in the jungle we were surrounded by nature and immersed in it in a fully sensory way. It's as much a …
February 9, 2018 Well friends, last night was my last ceremony with Mother Ayahuasca, and I am officially in my final hours here. After lunch I'm heading out, spending an afternoon in Iquitos with one of the friends I made here, then boarding a plane. I'm feeling refreshed, peaceful, grateful, excited.... I am in a …
February 7, 2018 It's Day 7 at Hummingbird Retreat. We're on another day off after our Huachuma day yesterday. Tomorrow is my last Ayahuasca ceremony, and then the next evening I fly out. It's going by, and I feel both excited and apprehensive about going back home. It's hard to see shifts in ourselves sometimes. …
February 5, 2018 Hi friends. It's Day 5 of my 9-day stay at Hummingbird Ayahuasca Retreat. Time is sliding by in a dreamy, peaceful fashion. There is a calm, warm, and healing energy here that I've been absolutely soaking up. I love eating fresh jungle fruit every morning, being surrounded by jungle sounds, making friends …
February 3, 2018 Good morning from Hummingbird Retreat... it's sunny, lightly breezy and extremely pleasant out right now. We're all lazing around and relaxing after our second Ayahuasca ceremony last night. Today is a day off, then tomorrow we'll be back at it. Last night is going to be hard to put into words that …
Hello world! I'm back in Iquitos after my 9-day stay at Hummingbird Ayahuasca Retreat. I have some WiFi at a cafe and a getting on a plane in a few hours to come home. Throughout my stay at Hummingbird I wrote about every ceremony we did and what my experience was. I am going to …
Expressions from this side of the here & now 